Before or during 2006
123 Carendon Road, London, England
- "Reynholm Industries: a big hard business in a big hard building. Thrusting into the future strongly. Again and again. Pounding into the future,making the future beg for it. The future wants it, and Reynholm Industries wants to give it to the future. That's what its all about. We don't want to be like a dead fly regretting what we didn't do in our short time on this earth. So maybe its a time to make a decision."
- —Douglas Reynholm's review of his company
Reynholm Industries is a massive British business empire located at 123 Carenden Road, Central London.. It is famous for being one of the most successful and profitable corporations in British history, as well as its ownership of The UK TV channel ITV and its annual income of well over 1800 billion billion (£1,800,000,000,000,000,000,000) at one stage. The company was founded by ground-breaking businessman Denholm Reynholm, however, due to his suicide in 2007, the company was inherited by Denholm's sexually frustrated, egomaniacal son, Douglas Reynholm.
However, due to Douglas inobedience and money-wasting antics Reynholm Industries made massive losses and only just escaped going into debt at Douglas's divorce trial. Douglas remained focused on less important things like his sexual relationships with his employees and wasted money on erotic art in his office and gold flakes in the water coolers. The company continued to lose more and more money, especially during the global economic crisis of 2009, which saw Reynholm Industries losing well over £400 million.
Historical overview Edit
- "Gentleman, when I first started Reynholm Industries, I had just two things in my possession: a simple dream, and six million pounds. Today, I have a business empire the like of which the world has never seen the like of which. I hope it doesn't sound arrogant when I say that I am the greatest man in the world."
- —Denholm Reynholm, moments before his suicide
Reynholm Industries was founded by ground-breaking businessman Denholm Reynholm with 6 million pounds, sometime during or before 2001. The corporation soon grew from its humble beginnings, and was soon making an annual income of well over £180,000,000,000,000,000,000. However, Denholm has never caused the business to stray from it's original principles of teamwork and a sexually stimulating and stress-free atmosphere.
Under Denholm's leadership, the company grew and grew, employing hundreds of staff and taking over international TV company, ITV. Reynholm Industries also attempted to merge with the world-renowned Japanese business empire, the Yamamoto Corporation, however, this was unsuccessful due to an unfortunate twist of events. In 2006, the corporation was improved even further when Denholm organised Project Icarus which increased the productivity of Reynholm Industries by 1000% upon completion and also had all departments working at three times their normal speeds.
However, behind closed doors, Denholm was secretly concocting a massive business scandal involving the company's pension fund, which Denholm was using to create a 'suck fund' with a creative accountant released from jail, however, the major details of the scandal have not been revealed. This scam may be why the company grew on such a massive scale. In 2007, tragedy struck when the scandal was found out when the police noticed irregularities in the pension fund. When Denholm found out about this, he jumped from his office window, falling over 30 storeys to his death.
After briefly being run by Derek Pippen, Denholm's son, Douglas Reynholm, came out of his seven-year-long hiding after a sexual harrassment case in 2000 and declared himself as the rightful Head of Reynholm Industries. Douglas was much less experience than his father and focused more on the attractiveness of his employees than on the running of his business. However, Douglas's assistants and advisers were the real driving force of the company and managed to keep Reynholm Industries on its feet. However, Douglas remained focused on less important things and wasted money on erotic art in his office and gold flakes in the water coolers.
Douglas's money-wasting antics soon took its toll on the business, and it soon found itself in a financial crisis during 2008. Despite this, Douglas seemed unconcerned and rather have an iPod party than deal with the problem. It was left down to Reynholm Industries Second-in-Command Nolan to bring the company back to its former glory. Nolan was particularly worried about what the major shareholders would think, and especially as Douglas had missed every meeting with them. Nolan tried to build bridges with the company's major shareholder, Mr. Yamamoto of the Yamamoto Corporation, by a conference via webcam. However, due to a wiring disconnection, Mr. Yamamoto was linked not to the conference room but to a screaming Jen Barber's computer. This only caused more and more embarassment for the company.
Reynholm Industries suffered greatly during the global economic crisis of 2009, with losses of over £400 million. In 2010, after further losses, Reynholm Industries was forced to seek the investment of world-renowned Italian businessman Silvio Bernatellii. However, due to an unsatisfactory translator, Bernartelli was turned off the idea of investment in Reynholm Industries and walked away from the deal. Reynholm Industries narrowly escaped going into debt in the same year when Douglas's wife, Victoria, filed for a diovorce and sueing for £220 million. Although Douglas's defence was pathetic, both he and Victoria compromised on a figure of £70 million which allowed the business to stay on its feet.
- "That's the type of place this is Jen. A lot of sexy people not doing much work... and having affairs."
- —Denholm Reynholm on his company
Reynholm Industries' headquaters is located at 123 Carendon Road, Central London, England. The building is a massive structure, with a modern and sleek appearance with 34 storeys, including a basement. The lift, however, only goes up to 31 floors, which means that the stairs have to be used to access floors 32, 33 and 34. A different department is located on each floor, however, only some of them are known:
- IT Department
- Transport Department
- Maintenance Department
- International Department
- Sales Department
- Accounts Department
- Marketing Department
- Sales Department
- HR Department
Basement - IT DepartmentEdit
- "My father was always very proud of the IT Department, run by a genius, a dynamic go-getter and a man from Ireland."
- —Douglas Reynholm on his father's relationship with the IT Department
The IT Department is one of the more forgotton departments of Reynholm Industries, as there are only four workers there and it is located in the basement, far away from the other departments. The departments intention is to upload protective software such as firewalls to protect the many computers of Reynholm Industries. The department also provides help and assistance to all 34 floors, who call in information as to how to fix various computer problems. The IT worker can give advice over the phone or can go to the computer in question and fix it by hand.
The department often complain about the treatment they recieve from the other floors, as most have total disregard for the workers after they have fixed their computer problems. The workers recieve a lot of abuse from the other offices, including one incident when a girl rested a coffee cup on an employee's back when he was bent over. Maurice Moss has said that his fellow employees 'throw us away like yesterday's jam' once they have finished with them. The four known members of the department are:
- Jen Barber, Head of the IT Department, Relationship Manager
- Maurice Moss, software application developer
- Roy, support technician
- Richmond Avenal (formerly), carer for the abandoned machines in the store room
- Harry Smythe (formerly), a former worker in the IT Department
- Lisa Barnes (formerly), a former worker in the IT Department
- Graham Linehan (formerly), a former worker in the IT Department
Ground floor - ReceptionEdit
The reception is situated on the ground floor of the building. This is where people first enter the building and is also where visitors of the business recieve information about where the various departments are. The following individuals work on the Ground Floor:
- Patricia (possibly), a receptionist
Floor 1 - Transport DepartmentEdit
It is unknown what exactly the Transport Department of Reynholm Industries actually deals with, however, it can be presumed from the name that it probably organises the various means of transport needed to facilitate the company's many excursions and meetings with foreign businesses.
Floor 2 - Maintenence DepartmentEdit
It is unknown what exact function the Maintenance Department of Reynholm Industries actually serves, however, it can be presumed by the name that it probably deals with the building maintenance of Reynholm Industries.
Floor 3 - International Department Edit
It is unknown what exact function the International Department of Reynholm Industries actually serves, however, it can be presumed by the name that it probably deals with the international trade of Reynholm Industries. The following individuals work in the International Department.
- Simon, a former-boyfriend of Patricia
- Gloria, the floor's receptionist
Floor 4 - CanteenEdit
The fourth floor of Reynholm Industries serves as a canteen to the employees. The canteen serves both hot and cold food, among the most popular of which includes muffins and coffee. Moss has a particular problem with the muffins served at the canteen, as the table of contents failed to mention that hyperoside was one of the ingredients. However, there were some offices located on Floor 4 in 2006, while it was listed as a canteen in 2008. This may be because the offices were moved and the floor was renovated into a canteen between 2006 and 2008, or the floor serves both as a canteen and as an office. In 2006, Denholm Reynholm fired all workers on Floor 4 as he thought they were not working as a team. The following individuals work on Floor 4:
- Abi, a friend of Samantha's
- Samantha, a former girlfriend of Roy's who now thinks he is sexually frustrated
- Olive, the resident tea lady. She may go to the canteen to replenish her food supplies.
Floor 5 - Sales DepartmentEdit
- "Lots of nice looking girls on fifth."
- —Jen Barber on the workers of the fifth floor
It is unknown what exact function the Sales Department of Reynholm Industries actually serves, however, it can be presumed by the name that it probably deals with Reynholm Industries' financial and trade affairs. Jen Barber has said that the female workers of the department are extremely good-looking. The following individuals work in the Sales Department:
Floor 6 - Accounts DepartmentsEdit
The Accounts Department of Reynholm Industries presumably deal with the accounts of the company. They were one of the driving forces of Project Icarus and were thanked for it after its completion.
- Philip, a homosexual who tried to have a relationship with Jen Barber because he said she 'looked a bit like a man'.
Floor 7 - OfficesEdit
It is unknown what exact function Floor 7 serves, as it is only listed as 'Offices' on a floor directory. In 2007, an employee accidently disabled all the firewalls on the seventh floor leaving them vulnerable to viruses, much to the frustration of Maurice Moss. In 2008, the female workers of the floor organised a nude calendar for a charity that dealt with the disability, 'boss-eyedness', however, the Maurice Moss' 'geeky' friends were forced to take their place. The following individuals work on the floor:
- Kimberly, a former love interest of Roy's
Floor 8 - Meeting roomsEdit
Floor 8 is where all meetings and conferences within Reynholm Industries are held. It is unlikely that there are any permanent workers on this floor.
Floor 12 - Legal DepartmentEdit
- "Have you been to the toilets on 12th? It's like going on holiday. I now try not to go at home, now. I save it up."
- —Maurice Moss on Floor 12's toilet conditions
It is unknown what exact function Floor 12 serves, however, the floor is famous for its outstanding hygiene and sanitary conditions of its toilets, and has claimed to have the cleanest toliets of any legal department in London. Maurice Moss has compared a visit to the toilet to a holiday. The following individuals work on the floor:
- James (possibly), most likely the Head of the department
- Dirk (possibly), as he is one of the toliet cleaners, he is most likely to work on this floor
- Banhead (possibly), as he is one of the toliet cleaners, he is most likely to work on this floor
- Doodles (possibly), as he is one of the toliet cleaners, he is most likely to work on this floor
Floor 30 is where the office of the Personal Assistant of the Head of Reynholm Industries is located, and is most likely where the Head of Reynholm Industries office is too. Jen Barber briefly worked on this floor when she became the PA of Douglas Reynholm, however, she soon returned to her original job of Head of the IT Department. The following individuals work on this floor:
- Jen Barber (formerly), as PA of Douglas Reynholm
- Douglas Reynholm (most likely), Head of Reynholm Industries
- Denholm Reynholm (most likely, formerly), former Head of Reynholm Industries
Floor 34EditFloor 34 is most likely the topmost floor of Reynholm Industries. It is most famous for its spectacular views of London and its unisex toilets. This was also where Denholm Reynholm left Jen Barber on her first day of Relationship Manager.
As one of the biggest corporations in British history, Reynholm Industries can afford to purchase less important luxuries, such as personalised Reynholm Industries mouse mats, desktop wallpapers, posters and mugs. The company insists that all computers display the Reynholm Industries trademark wallpaper.
Many photos scattered around Reynholm Industries depict some of the company's investments in other areas, including barges and harrier jets all sporting the trademark Reynholm Industries logo. This suggests that Reynholm Industries owns or has invested in some sort of transport company.
Behind the scenes Edit
- It has become a running joke throughout the series that it is never revealed to the viewer what Reynholm Inudustries actually does. Graham Linehan says he tries to think about it but he just "gets tired".
Note: Reynholm Industries has appeared in all episodes to date.
- Yesterday's Jam
- Calamity Jen
- The Red Door
- The Haunting of Bill Crouse
- Aunt Irma Visits
- The Work Outing
- Return of the Golden Child
- Moss and the German
- The Dinner Party
- Smoke and Mirrors
- Men Without Women
- From Hell
- Are We Not Men?
- Tramps Like Us
- The Speech
- Calendar Geeks
- Jen the Fredo
- The Final Countdown
- Something Happened
- Italian for Beginners
- Bad Boys
- Reynholm vs Reynholm